Where Will You Go When Your Skin Cannot Contain You?

He lay in the back seat of the SUV and tried to sleep. Rain pounded on the roof, wind-whipped rain rendered the glass opaque and everything beyond these windows a matter of conjecture. The vodka slept on his chest like a stuffed bear from childhood. It hadn't worked anyway, it might as well have been tap water. Things would not leave him alone, old unheeded voices plagued his ears. Brightly colored images tumbled through his mind. An enormous, stained-glass serpent had shattered inside him and was moving around blindly reassembling itself. ... For here's what happened, or what happened on the surface, here's what imprinted itself on the very ether and went everywhere at once, the news the summer wind whispered in The Jeepster's sleeping ear.

William Gay's short story Where Will You Go When Your Skin Cannot Contain You? begins like a story of revenge but ends with thoughts on how everyone grieves differently, regardless of who you are and what you have done with your life. Full of colorful adjectives that help bring the story to life, the reader feels various levels of emotion for the main character Leonard (The Jeepster) as he deals with his past and present demons. His former girlfriend Aimee arrives to ask a favor. She has made her choices in life as well and now fears for her life. After a tragic turn of events, Leonard is now running wild while trying to deal with what to do next.

I have to keep moving. I never felt like this. I never knew you could feel like this. I can't be still. It's like I can't stand it in my own skin.

Themes of drugs, suicide, murder, and grief are the basis of this short story. Reader beware that the story is somewhat graphic and contains strong language; however, I felt that these details were relevant to the story. Past history and choices play a strong role in the way each theme is revealed. Also, colors and glass are used often for imagery which compliments the rich detail and descriptions used in the telling of the story.

I would kill him if he was worth it but he ain't. A son of a bitch like this just goes through life tearin up stuff, and somebody else has always got to sweep up the glass. He don't know what it is to hurt, he might as well be blind and deaf. He don't feel things the way the rest of us does.

A well written short story, Where Will You Go When Your Skin Cannot Contain You? shows that everyone feels things... in their own way.


"Where Will You Go When Your Skin Cannot Contain You?" by William Gay (from Tin House)from The Best American Short Stories 2007 edited by Stephen King with Heidi Pitlor

For One More Day

What I have written here is what Charles "Chick" Benetto told me in our conversation that morning --- which stretched out much longer than that --- as well as personal notes and pages from his journal that I found later, on my own. I have assembled them into the following narrative, in his voice, because I'm not sure you would believe this story if you didn't hear it in his voice. You may not believe it anyhow. But ask yourself this: Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back. What if you got it back? (p.2)

If you are a fan of Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet in Heaven, then you will definitely enjoy Mitch Albom's For One More Day. Chick Benetto has reached the lowest point of his life. He has walked away from his marriage, lost his job, let his drinking and depression take control of his life, and became estranged from his daughter. After a long day and night of drinking, he drives to his hometown of Pepperville Beach. When he is just one mile from the exit, he becomes involved in a bad accident. He wakes up scared and then stumbles the final distance to the town's water tower where he decides to jump in order to end his life for good. When he awakens again unhappily alive though seriously hurt, he sees his mom waiting for him by the baseball diamond where he learned to play ball as a child. This seems very strange to him since he buried his mom after her heart attack eight years ago. But there she is ready to spend the day with him as if nothing unusual has occurred.

The story of their day together is a conglomeration of his recollection of the day's events and conversations, his letters that she often wrote for encouragement or guidance, and his memories of the times his mother stood up for him and the times he did not stand up for her. His mother discusses many details about their lives that he has either forgotten or never knew. He also reveals several memories of his childhood and adulthood. Slowly, Chick realizes that there is more to life than just what he has made it out to be.

A very touching story about discovering life and forgiving one's self before it's too late, For One More Day leaves the reader thinking about how precious life is regardless of the set of circumstances it has handed us. Love, sacrifice, forgiveness, and doing what is necessary are all lessons that we can learn from.

It was so ordinary in so many ways, but as she said, you can find something truly important in an ordinary minute. You may think me crazy, that I imagined the whole thing. But I believe this in the deepest part of my soul: My mother, somewhere between this world and the next, gave me one more day, the day I'd wanted so badly, and she told me all that I've told you. And if my mother said it, I believe it. ... I feel ashamed now that I tried to take my life. It is such a precious thing. I had no one to talk me out of my despair, and that was a mistake. You need to keep people close. You need to give them access to your heart. ... I would like to make things right again with those I love. (p. 193-194)

Mitch Albom's For One More Day is a beautiful, reflective story that touched my life and thoughts. My friend Barb recommended this book and gave it to me earlier this year. Thank you, Barb. I loved it and highly recommend it to others as well.

It's Not About The Bike

I thought I knew what fear was, until I heard the words You have cancer. Real fear came with an unmistakable sensation: it was as though all my blood started flowing in the wrong direction. My previous fears, fear of not being liked, fear of being laughed at, fear of losing my money, suddenly seemed like small cowardices. Everything now stacked up differently: the anxieties of life --- a flat tire, losing my career, a traffic jam --- were reprioritized into need versus want, real problem as opposed to minor scare. A bumpy plane ride was just a bumpy plane ride, it wasn't cancer.

One definition of "human" is as follows: characteristic of people as opposed to God or animal or machines, especially susceptible to weakness, and therefore showing the qualities of man. Athletes don't tend to think of themselves in these terms; they're too busy cultivating the aura of invincibility to admit to being fearful, weak, defenseless, vulnerable, or fallible, and for that reason neither are they especially kind, considerate, merciful, benign, lenient, or forgiving, to themselves or anyone around them. But as I sat in my house alone that first night, it was humbling to be so scared. More than that, it was humanizing. (pp. 73-74)

It's Not About the Bike: My Journey Back to Life by Lance Armstrong with Sally Jenkins is a book not about bike racing but rather about "survivorship". Lance Armstrong begins with his younger days when he first discovered cycling. He was cocky and headstrong about what he wanted to accomplish. He was an up and coming athlete in the world of cycling and he had his sights on winning the Tour. But suddenly his life came to a complete halt when he was diagnosed with testicular cancer. After facing the facts about his prognosis, he fought to beat the disease and in the process re-evaluated what he wanted out of life. Armstrong then tells of his recovery physically, mentally, and emotionally as he struggled to once again rejoin the sport of cycling. As the cover states: Winner of the Tour de France, Cancer Survivor, Husband, Father, Son, Human Being. Very well put.

The book covers Lance Armstrong's life as a young boy through his first win at the Tour de France. It also details his marriage to Kristin (Kik) and the conception and birth of his son Luke. He introduces many people who influenced his life in cycling. And, of course, Armstrong speaks highly of the love and support that his mother Linda has given him throughout his entire life. He starts with a very egotistical air about himself and ends in a very humbling tone. He describes many of the details about fighting his cancer and about the survivorship afterwards that most people are not aware of. And he gives hope to others through his accomplishment in returning to cycling and winning the Tour de France as well as establishing the Lance Armstrong Foundation, a charity to help the fight against cancer.

I very much enjoyed this biography and found it very reader friendly in its style and story. I learned a lot about Lance Armstrong that I did not already know. He was never a winner of the Tour de France prior to his cancer; rather, he was just beginning his world career at the time of his diagnosis. His cancer was much more advanced than I was aware, for it had spread to his lungs and brain. Also, his struggles back into cycling, and into life in general, gave me a new perspective on cancer survivors and what they endure after they conquer their disease.

It's Not About the Bike is not only for cycling fans but also for those who have been touched by cancer in some way. It is an easy reading biography that I highly recommend.

Cloud Nine

Thanksgiving with the Talbots had proved something to her. You could love someone imperfectly but still love them. Just look at Sarah, the way she felt about Mike. Snow could see it in her eyes, hear it in her voice. At the same time, you could look at George and read how much he loved Sarah. And they were a mess! They got so upset with each other, had so many resentments, it was almost comical. A bunch of people bumbling along, trying to just get along, hurting each other more the harder they tried not to. (p. 255)

Luanne Rice has a formula that makes her books so enjoyable. Start with one female character overcoming some kind of adversity. Add some kind of family problems and a loss that was experienced sometime in the past. Finally, complete it with a new found love that comes along unexpectedly and helps the lead character find the love she always knew she had inside herself to share with someone special. Yes, some would say that Rice's work is predictable, but that is why I continue to pick up her books every time. I know what to expect and it always warms my heart in the end. And this holds true for the book Cloud Nine as well.

She closed her eyes, holding the picture to her chest. It seemed impossible, but she felt her mother's love flowing within her. She could almost imagine her mother standing there, taking Sarah into her arms, telling her how much she loved her. Turning to look over her shoulder, she stared at Will, still asleep. She wanted her mother to know what he had done. Then it occurred to her, all at once: She wanted to tell her mother that she was falling in love. "Is this really happening?" she whispered to the picture, feeling the catch in her throat. She glanced at Will and felt stronger: She was thirty-seven years old, just finished with chemotherapy, falling in love with the strong man in the bed behind her. She felt light-hearted with emotion, with gratitude. Wiping the dust off her mother's picture, she gently replaced it on the tall chest. (p.175-176)

Sarah Talbot is the owner of a bedding speciality shop called Cloud Nine. Her family is estranged, she has just overcome a battle with cancer, and she is celebrating her birthday with a scenic airplane ride by pilot Will Burke. When her son Mike invites her home to the family farm for Thanksgiving, Sarah hires Will to fly her there. And unbeknown to everyone, Will's daughter Susan is a stowaway to escape her holiday plans. On a small island in Maine, the Talbot family, as well as Will and Susan, will spend four unbelievable days reacquainting themselves with love and hope that seemed all but lost in their lives.

Cloud Nine is a three kleenex read. It will tug at your heartstrings as you find yourself falling in love all over again. The characters are a web of hurt, loss, healing, and survival that will entangle you in their lives during their short time together. I dried my tears as the final chapters showed how people do come together for the ones that they love and that time can slowly heal the past wounds that we all bear in our lives. I loved this book and look forward to reading more Luanne Rice in the future.

Circle Of Friends

None of these things upset either Eve or Benny in the slightest. It was easy to cope with Knockglen when you have a friend. (p. 32)

Over the years I have read most of Maeve Binchy's books, but for some reason one of her older more popular titles has never found its way to my shelves. The book was also made into a movie several years ago and I have yet to see that either. So, in celebration of an author's birthday in May, I read a book by one of my very favorite authors that was long overdue.

Circle Of Friends by Maeve Binchy is a classic reading experience. Begin with two childhood friends, add a new life experience with new friends, twist it with the many choices that each person makes, and you now have a story of friendship that has always been a trademark of Binchy's writing.

Eve and Benny grew up together in Knockglen Ireland and began to spread their wings when they started their first year at the university in Dublin. An unfortunate accident brings together new people that would soon become a very important part of the girls' lives. Each person in this new circle of friends has their own demons from the past, goals for their future, and personal motivation for their current actions and choices. Family and home take on a new meaning as each character learns and grows from the events of the year. And friendship takes on a whole new meaning when two of the friends make a choice that betrays everyone and tests the limits of loyalty and trust.

The book is a chunkster and took me longer to read than most, but Circle Of Friends was definitely worth the time to enjoy it. Maeve Binchy is and always will be one of my favorite authors. How I missed this book over the years I will never know!

Quick Cooking Annual Recipes

Over the years I have slowly learned to have fun in my kitchen and actually enjoy cooking. However... I like to have recipes that are easy to make and don't take a lot of time to get from prepping the food to eating it. I want to be able to feed others and have them compliment the cook. And I want a variety of recipes to choose from because I often get bored cooking the same thing every week. Believe it or not, I have actually found a series of cookbooks that meets all my requirements to have fun in the kitchen and enjoy cooking.

Taste of Home's 2008 Quick Cooking Annual Recipes is a cookbook that I received in January and had yet to cook from it. The annual cookbook includes all the recipes from the past year's editions of the monthly magazine Quick Cooking of which I used to subscribe. I love this cookbook series because it includes a wide variety of menus, recipes, and ideas for the busy cook. I am surprised I waited so long to try this year's book!

What I liked about this cookbook is what I like about the other five volumes that I have collected from this series. Recipes are very easy to follow. Often suggestions for substitutions or additions are given by the cooks or the editors. The ingredients for each recipe are typically found in my kitchen or are easy to find at the grocery store. And the ultimate test, most recipes are family friendly so that my kids will request them again. In fact, my youngest daughter has now nick-named this cookbook "the new really good cookbook." Also, I appreciate the variety of recipes that would fill any need that I might have for cooking or baking.

What I did not like about this cookbook is that it did not include as many recipes as usual for "two people" meals. I usually cook for a crowd, but occasionally I have the need to cook for just myself and look for these recipes as a way to scale back on a favorite meal. Also, these recipes were not in a section of their own, so they were hard to seek out.

I tried the following recipes from this cookbook: Flavorful Southwestern Chili (p.234); Mini Chicken Loaves (p.87, I used ground beef); Biscuit Nugget Chicken Bake (p.205); Nacho Mac 'n' Cheese (p.125); Soft Oatmeal Bread (p.155); Potato Flake Chicken (p.96); Raspberry Brownie Dessert (p.91); and Chocolate Chip Cookies (p.259). My favorites were definitely the Flavorful Southwestern Chili and the Biscuit Nugget Chicken Bake. The Chocolate Chip Cookies were also a hit and I especially liked them because they are a delicious alternative to the typical chocolate chip cookie I usually bake.

My next cookbook for the Soup's On! Challenge will be Taste of Home's 2007 Light & Tasty Annual Recipes. I have four Light & Tasty Annual Recipes cookbooks in my kitchen but I seldom turn to them when looking for new meal ideas. I think it's time to start experimenting with some healthy choices of home style cooking!

Spirituality Book Challenge --- Completed

I have completed my third challenge for this year. The Spirituality Book Challenge was an easy one for me because I enjoy reading this genre of books and have several on my shelves waiting to be read. I read the following books for this challenge:

By What Authority? by Mark P. Shea

Like Dandelion Dust by Karen Kingsbury

Traveling Light For Mothers by Max Lucado

My favorite was was Like Dandelion Dust closely followed by Traveling Light For Mothers. I did not finish the book By What Authority? I enjoyed this challenge and hope that someone will host another Christian genre challenge later this summer.

Traveling Light For Mothers

If we let him, God will lighten our loads. . . but how do we let him? May I invite an old friend to show us? The first few verses of the Twenty-third Psalm.

The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake. (NKJV)

Have you been packing your purse with some burdens of your own? Do you think God might use David's psalm to lighten your load? Traveling light means trusting God with the burdens you were never intended to bear. (pp. 6-7)

Did I read a treasure of inspiration this morning! As I sat on my couch curled up in a sunbeam, I treated myself to Max Lucado's Traveling Light For Mothers: The Promise of Psalm 23. I love to read slim volumes of inspirational work occasionally to get myself back on track when life seems to be so crazy. I also love to read quotes, scripture, and anecdotes to help me reflect. So this book was perfect for me in many different ways!

The book is a brief 116 pages long. The first chapter, Mom's Purse, informs readers what traveling lightly is all about. The following six chapters identify various burdens in our lives that bring us down. Lucado is very specific in addressing each burden. He uses concrete examples to understand the burdens, offers thought in determining how heavy your burdens might be, and provides scripture to support the inspiration he gives in overcoming your personal burdens. He is straight forward about the impact each burden has on a person's life but he also brings hope in lightening those burdens that bring us down the most. His inspiration is personal and very uplifting.

We see the waves of the water rather than the Savior walking through them. We focus on our paltry provisions rather than on the One who can feed five thousand hungry people. We concentrate on the dark Fridays of crucifixion and miss the bright Sundays of resurrection. Change your focus and relax. (p.54)

In a world rocky with human failure, there is a land lush with divine mercy. Your Shepherd invites you there. He wants you to lie down. Nestle deeply until you are hidden, buried, in the tall shoots of his love, and there you will find rest. (p.62)

Most readers will feel the power behind the words of Psalm 23 as they read Traveling Light For Mothers. Its uplifting message will make one's day a bit easier and one's worries a bit lighter. This book would make a great daily devotional because of its seven short chapters. It would also make a great gift. I plan on sharing my copy with a friend who I think will enjoy it as much as I did.

Notes from a Small Island

I'm lost! Please hand me a road map! I just could not get into the travelogue memoirs of Bill Bryson in his recommended and notable book Notes from a Small Island. I read the first seven chapters (approximately 80 pages) and felt more lost than Bryson did when he first landed in England. I'm sorry, but I barely remember what I read. What I do remember is that he was revisiting his original travels in England. I also remember a lot of dialogue about roads, hotels, food, and weather. That's about it. I found the book uninteresting and a bit rambling for my tastes.

I have several other titles I wish to tackle this month for other challenges, so I am listing Notes from a Small Island as a DNF. I will choose an alternate selection later in the month to replace this book for the In Their Shoes Reading Challenge.

A New Kind of Gravity

The doorbell chimes at seven in the morning and I don't even need to check the monitors to know what's out there: a husband on the front stoop, fidgeting with his clothes, trying not to eyeball the camera. ... Some of them look like the bottom of the barrel, some look like accountants. But when they walk past you, you get the same feeling, like a smell they give off, like something hot and rotten has been packed inside them, crammed down into a space too small to hold it in.

Charlie, the narrator in the short story A New Kind of Gravity by Andrew Foster Altschul, is one of the armed security officers at Skyer House, a safe house for women and children. He takes his job of security very seriously and wishes he could do more for the residents. He also feels a special need to execute his job because of an old fiancee who was abused by her ex-boyfriend. Charlie's heart breaks every time a husband comes to pick up his wife and kids from the shelter. He knows they will return, often with marks showing that things had never really changed.

But cheap ironies abound at Skyer House and Mattie won't permit you to underestimate the women. "It's mutually assured destruction --- just like the bombs," she once told me. ... You can't stop people from f***ing up their own lives, Mattie said. You can't even really stop them from f***ing up someone else's, if that's what they want to do. All you can do is give them choices, offer them some scaled-down version of freedom, then stand back and cover your ears when they still decide to push the button.

Charlie shares a special friendship with one little girl named Camila. He is allowed to pat her on the head when she passes by to get on her school bus and he helps her with her math homework when she visits his office. On two separate occasions Charlie has a confrontation of sorts with Camila's mother Mariana. Both meetings leave him feeling very uncomfortable about the choices that are being made by Mariana for herself and her daughter. Then one morning Camila's father arrives at Skyer House to pick up his wife and daughter.

A heart-breaking story, A New Kind of Gravity evokes many different feelings while reading it. It is a brief glimpse into Charlie's life and job, but it left me wanting to know a few more details to fill in some gaps about what he does and why. I believe there is more to his character than I grasped. I appreciated reading a male voice as the narrator rather than the story being told by a resident or a counselor. I felt it gave the story a different perspective.

Overall, it was a good short story.

"A New Kind of Gravity" by Andrew Foster Altschul (from StoryQuarterly) from The O. Henry Prize Stories 2007 edited by Laura Furman

I Heard It Through The Grapevine

Lynne is hosting a great challenge called I Heard It Through The Grapevine. Participants are to read three or more recommended books from May 1st to Novemeber 30th, 2008. There is a large stack of books accumulating on my shelves for the past year that have either been given to me by friends or have been ordered from PaperbackSwap after discovering them on other readers' blogs. So... this is the perfect challenge for me!

I am "over-booking" my list because I am not sure yet which books I want to read. I would like to think that I might attempt to read one book each month during the challenge.

The Book of Jane by Anne Dayton & May Vanderbilt (recommended by Lisa)
Awaiting Orders by Farrell O'Gorman (recommended by Lisa)
Sophie's Heart by Lori Wick (recommended by my friend Victoria)
Getting Rid of Bradley by Jennifer Cruise (recommended by Marianne)
For One More Day by Mitch Albom (recommended by my friend Barb)
The Center of Everything by Laura Moriarty (recommended by Lori)
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott (recommended by Suzi)

I can hear the song humming through my head already...